Today

It's been two weeks since the kids returned to Latvia and their absence consumes us.  I'm writing this at 3am because I can't sleep.  This week, the Project 143 worker told me that the foster home is kicking the children out.  They will be sent to an orphanage.  The worker said that orphanages near Riga can be good but the ones farther out can be terrible.

Then, when Mairita messaged me two mornings ago, she said that the foster parents are not feeding them enough.  They came to us so thin already!  I'd like to try to send them a box of food but I don't have a full address and even when I do, I worry that the family will take the food from the kids when it arrives.

We have been looking into adoption but the costs are overwhelming and even if we could raise the money, we would need more space in our home and less debt to qualify for a homestudy (sigh.)  If, over the next six months, we could somehow get our finances in order to qualify, it would still take six months for the homestudy to be approved and another few months for a dossier to be finalized and sent to Latvia before we could get over there, stay for three weeks under court supervision and take the kids home.

A year.

Then, there would be two additional trips back to Latvia with the kids before an adoption would be processed.  All told, we are talking about a conservative estimate of $50,000.00 and a year to make this happen.  In the meantime, I've been talking to friends, strangers acquaintances - anyone who might know of a family who wants to adopt three fabulous kids.

I'm a fighter, so I won't be giving up on this.  Still, today, I feel discouraged.  This summer, I had the pleasure of attending a reading by and briefly meeting Alice Walker.  Today, I'll take some comfort in an excerpt from one of her poems.

I am telling you

Discouraged one

We will win.

And I will show you why

We are the offspring

Of the ignorantly discarded

We conjure sunrise

with our smiles

and provoke music

out of trash

Who can completely

disappear such genius?

This is why humanity is worth loving.

Fiercely.

Passionately.

Without a moment of holding back...

- Alice Walker

She provides a link to a lovely video on her website after this poem.